Surgery...

So... I had to have Oral Surgery done recently. It's ruined my life presently. I can't eat any meat, and I'm confined to potatoes, pudding, and Jello. And pills for antibiotics and pain. Lots of pain. I spent all of Friday in a half awake state, because I had what may have been just a bit too much pain medicine for me...

The girl in my life... She said she would come and take care of me. Babysit me, and make sure everything was okay. Now, I know she's busy. So I knew it wasn't going to happen. But I did find her offer to be extremely appreciated. And ridiculously cute. I loved it. I was glad she would volunteer to do that for me... Even though she didn't need to.

It didn't happen, though. No one came to visit me. I felt kind of lonely that day... Which I suppose is okay. I was pretty much drugged up enough that I wouldn't have been much fun, anyway. I would have probably fallen asleep on whomever it was that was unfortunate enough to come and deal with me. Which would have been embarrassing... So, part of me is glad. But the bigger part of me wished I didn't have to feel so alone. (Not that much can be done... It's kind of a personal thing anyway, you know?)

In other news, my time at my house is quite short. I have a little less than two weeks before I have to move out and up on campus. My parents have already made me pack everything up and away. So, my bedroom is ridiculously bare, now. Everything besides my clothes has been packed into tubs, and have been put in my corner. If a man is measured by his belongings... Then I am not much of a man, it seems. I don't have much to my name...

I'm sad... Because it feels like they don't really want me to be here. They seem eager to kick me out, and all I ever hear about is, "When you're gone..." Or "When Darik is gone..." Like they're all waiting for the day when I just leave and they don't have to deal with me anymore.

I guess... That the feeling of the time is lonely. I just feel lonely. My friends are few. Most of the people I love are planning, albeit not unforeseenly, my absence. Some of the people who I call my friends are attempting to boycott me, and not have anything to do with me. I just... I wish I had someone who I could just spend time with. Without people to interfere, or to tell me that I have something to do, or that I've got to do this so that I can be ready. I just kinda feel like everyone is waiting for me to move out, and that I feel alone and have no one telling me they really want me around...

It's why I always want out of the house. To spend some time, one on one, with someone who actually understands. Doesn't ask anything from me other than just to talk with me. And I realize that's a lot to ask. So I don't. It's simple. But complicated at the same time.