I have to say this. I am not too bad at English. I was a really good editor for my school newspaper, and the lowest grade I ever received in my AP High School English class on any paper, was a 90. My papers were rather good, and I often even edited the other people's papers in my classes. I am a more than competent person when it comes to writing and editing papers, and what I do is generally actually fairly good.
So, what to my wandering eyes should appear but the love of my life, telling me that she didn't do so well on her paper for class. She told me why, and I figured that while she could fix that on her own, in the future, I could give her assistance so she wouldn't ever have this happen again. I told her that I would ask her a favor, and I told her that if she would like, I could help her.
And, what does she do...? She tells me that she doesn't want me to look at her paper. She says it's awful, and that she doesn't want me to look at it so that I don't laugh at it. At her.
Now, this is a normal reaction from every human being. Nobody, after getting a bad grade on their paper, ever wants to have someone else look at it and be even more humiliated. But... I always thought.. That because of what we have, that maybe she would think at least a little better of me.. That I wouldn't ever laugh at her paper. At her. If she needed me, I would help, and there would be no laughing... No derision. Just me, helping the person that I cherish more than anything on the face of the earth. I felt like... Like she didn't trust me. As if I would hurt her feelings, when she is already feeling down. I don't kick people while they are down, and I definitely don't ever want to hurt her by deriding her paper. It kinda hurt to see that... Even though the two of us are so close, that... she still doesn't seem to completely trust me. And can't recognize that all I could ever do to convince her of how I feel doesn't seem to be enough...
I love her. So very much. She is the world to me. And I don't just want to help her. I don't just want her trust. I want her to understand that I love and appreciate her, and will continually help as much as I can, so that she can be happy. Because that's all I want. Is for her to be happy, and not have any reason to be unhappy.
