My Favorite Subject! :)

Romance!

Girls like to read about it! (And love to be the recipient of it.) Guys like to initiate it! And everyone loves the benefits of it. :) Holding hands, a light kiss or two, and on a cold winter's night, there's nothing like curling up and laying in the arms of your significant other. (Or, in most guy's cases, having the girl in his arms. Oooh la la! ;) )

Though I've never had a significant other of my own, I have learned a lot about what and what not to do when chasing a member of the opposite gender. And I've gotten close enough to that to have knowledge of what to do in a romantic relationship. This has been added to by the many opinions of my female friends, who always change the way I view things every time they give me advice. :)

They say that nice guys finish last. That gentleman can't compete with bad boys. I beg to differ. My friends, gentleman is the new bad boy. :) Ladies love a guy in leather, or in a nice tuxedo, sure. But they also love a guy who's not a jerk. It's been my experience that when a guy or girl thinks of a gentleman, they get a rather interesting and incorrect view of what we actually are. We're a dying breed, you know. Lots of jerks out there who take women for granted. And, strangely enough, the women fall for them! Like, they like being harassed and abused, just because they don't care, or because they may not know what it's like, romance.

Let me assure you, guys and gals, this is not how it goes. Hence, why gentleman is the new bad boy. In this world of jerks and buttheads, we gentleman stand out. Now to the real work. There is a difference between being a gentleman and being a yesman. Gentleman are firm and have autonomy. We can say no, and sometimes, we have to. If you just automatically agree, then you're not really being a gentleman, you're just being a suck up. If you have an idea, don't hesitate to mention it. If you have something to say, or advice to give, or a no to say, say it. But, say it in such a way that shows respect to the woman in front of you.

It is a complicated thing, romance. Different for every person and in a state of flux between so many different states. It can be cool and causal, and or "hot and steamy". Soft, passionate, intense; the list goes on and on. And thus, it is so very hard to analyze. But, I digress. There are very basic guidelines one follows in order to make something like this work. I have found a minute part of this out, as a result of my study of people and myself. This type of thing, romance, makes me so very happy. I like trying to understand how people work. And I try out my ideas when I can.

Firstly, you don't have to be a sap for women to like you. But you don't have to be a jerk either. I suggest studying romance novels. While they may not be horribly realistic, they give good ideas, if you pay attention. Somewhere in the middle of passionate, funny and firm does the trick.

Girls do honestly like hearing compliments. I give as many of those out as I can, and you wouldn't believe how happy it makes them, even if their reactions aren't as energetic as you may think. They may tell you to stop, or tell you that they don't deserve it in one of many ways. This is an opportunity to show them how you feel. :) Tell them that they deserve compliments. Tell them that you'll stop saying them, but you'll continue to think them. This may drive them crazy, but they do appreciate being told they look nice, or that they're adorable. They like it when you laugh at their jokes, or play along when they are messing around. It shows you care.

Which leads to my next point. Let them know you care. Actively listen to what they have to say. Even if they're ranting, or telling you what you're doing wrong, or just plain having a horrible day and needing someone to talk to. They need you in that instant, and if you're there, their feelings for you will grow positively. If you miss them, text them randomly. They may well be on the opposite side wanting you to text them, but don't know if they should do it themselves or not. Fancy words and nice gifts are nice, but the feeling of being appreciated and listen to is much more lasting a gift.

Another thing I've noticed. But on the more physical sense. Girls... Work in such a way that their emotional sense often is tied to physical stimuli. Hence the reason they like holding hands, hugs, and lots of other friendly touching like pats on the shoulder, a hand in the center of the back. These things and more... These things work like so: in any type of relationship, whether it is between friends, spouses, significant others, each of those touches means something important. Corresponds to an emotional feeling that is very prevalent in girls' perception of people. Holding hands is a safety thing, and it implies a very non-platonic relationship. It's a definite sign of interest and love. Hugs are signs of affection, from familial level to interest to intense feeling. Depends on the frequency and the duration. Pats on the shoulder are friendly. Hands in the center of the back... Something very special. It's mainly a form of safety. Women like it because in situations where they are uncomfortable, it gives them a physical manifestation of connection. Between them and someone they trust. Usually only used between the girl and someone she is very close to.

Another point, for kicks. The quirkier the better. :) Eccentricities are great. If you have quirks, strange little habits or likes or dislikes, they like that. If they have feelings for you, they will remember them and try to cater to those whims. This works in your direction too. Pay attention! You may find a few things you will want to know, so that you can better find what truly makes her tick. Once you know
her quirks, you can easily understand. :) But it doesn't make her any less attractive to you, quite the opposite. The people who say that the thrill is in the chase are liars. The real thrill is what you do with what you know. :) And that knowledge makes things so very interesting.

So, there you have it. A brief compendium. Oh, and girls! This works just as well for you too. Pay attention to all the guys movements too. :) We'll thank you later.

ZW