...

I've done the one thing that I had wished I'd never do. I have hurt my best friend. It might not have been entirely my fault. And I hope she's okay. But, oh my goodness... My heart... It hurts... And I can't stop crying. Do I lack control? Am I... A loose cannon? Should I stop doing things that could hurt people? Hurt... Her? What's wrong with me?

I didn't think I'd done anything wrong... Until she started to cry... And that sound... Oh how it hurt... I told her to sit up, and she cried on me for a little bit. All I could do was hold her trembling body against my own as my eyes started to water. And as my heart hurt, and I held her, I just waited. I pulled her close, and I even kissed her head softly. But it hurt her so much... And it made me cry... And then, she pulled back and she looked at me. And she saw my eyes, and immediately and quietly chastened me for crying. And then, ever so softly, she wiped away the tears in my eyes. And she ran her hand through my hair in what was a comforting gesture. Which just made me weep even more, because I couldn't control myself.

And then when she stood, well, she couldn't stand all that well. And then my heart just broke... Because she was in so much pain... And I was the cause of it. She couldn't stand so well, and she really needed my help at times. She let me open doors, and move her gear. Which definitely was a sign. And she couldn't take any steps without gasping out in pain. I walked her to her car, and she let me open her doors and take her bag. And then painfully got in her car. Where I made sure she was okay. And then we looked at each other for a while, and she ran her hand through my hair again, and made me promise not to worry. I grudgingly promised, and let her go, though I didn't want to.

I just... Oh, I couldn't help myself. I did many things, tried to keep her as comfortable as possible, even tried to massage her back to relieve some of her pain. Which succeeded marginally, but still not good enough for me. And I'm not sure... I'm just sad. And very sorry. And I know what the consequences are. So... Yeah. There you have it.