The first official day of break for me. :) I finished my shopping, saw an old friend of mine, and then made a blanket for a very good friend of mine as a gift. Overall it was a good day. Then I got to my friend's house with her gift. And it was better. :)
Even though the house was in crisis mode cause her brother lost his phone, it was still good. But... Her parents thought that her best friend took Tommy's phone. Someone who they know well, and they knew I'm sure deep down that she didn't. It... Upset my friend very much. To be honest, I nearly said that it is impossible. Our mutual friend would never do that. Ever. She's better than that.
My friend though... She took it pretty hard. I saw the tears, (though she swears that there were none), and I could hear her voice break and see her shake... I admit that I felt very bad, and I wished I could have done something. But, who am I to do anything drastic? So, I did what best guy friends do. I hugged her, and I listened to her. She didn't stay in my arms very long, but it was long enough to show her that I was there for her and will always support her.
I just... Don't quite know how to express my feelings on that regard. I like that she lets me listen to her. That she tells me things. That I am privileged to hear her rant or ramble. But, when she cries... That isn't pleasant for me. I don't show anything, but I do feel. When I saw her face, something in my heart kinda of... Died a bit more. I couldn't bear to see that face, and not be able to do anything about it.
Being useless irks me. I like having a use. Solving people's problems. And, when it comes to that face, I don't like what comes with it. She just gets sad, and I can't do anything about it. So instead, I did what took no words. I just acted as I thought was requisite and as I felt would be appreciated. No thoughts, just actions. Funny how she's the only person who can get me to be that way.
I think that she should be happy. Nothing more. She shouldn't have to cry. Or feel bad. I work as hard as I can to make sure that happens for her, if I can do so. She deserves what she has. A boyfriend who loves her, all the food she can eat, the warmth she can handle, and the loud music she can stand. And friends who love her as much as she loves them. And I fall under that category, though a few differences are present.
Bottom line, is that, I sincerely hope that she never has to cry over something around me again. Because, it hurts me a bit every time I see her like that. The change from her perky, fun-loving self to the crying, sad self is hard for both of us to bear. You wouldn't think I'd feel so acutely for her, but I do. I am... Attached to her. And... She will forever hold an important place in my heart, because of that.
They say that a Cancer is the best astrological sign to have as a friend. Because they are friends for life. And they make darn good ones, cause they are intuitive and very caring. We have a very strong emotional attachment to everyone we feel is worthy of that. And... Well, she has proven herself worthy many times over. Hundreds of thousands of times. I'd trust her with my life. She's that important to me too. I hope she trusts me with her life. I know that she trusts me with a lot.
Well, anywho, there you have it.
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