Homesick...

I haven't left, of course. And no, she isn't homesick, or not that that know of. But...

I was thinking.

About where home was. I live here, where I reside. But, I don't consider it my real home in terms of where I came from. Where I go back to in my mind. Where I feel most comfortable.

In my case, it's St. Helens. That's the place where I was born. A place where I have only good memories. My mother's family lives there. It's a lovely place, where it rains almost all the time. The smell is like none other. It always smells like the rain. Cool, crisp, and clean. I'm fond of it. It's very small for a town. And really local based. (It's also the place where they filmed the Halloween Town movies. Which is pretty sweet. :) )

My memories of that place are simple. Just... Family and food and fun. Good times spent with my Grandmother, who is forever and always the most wonderful person who is related to me. I love her. And the rest of the family over there. They make me happy. They're simple people, not like the other side of the family. They're just very... Laid back. Very funny people though. Where I get my sense of humor.

But, there's more than just nostalgia. There's... Something else. You see, I think that with all those memories... There comes a time when some memories must be made. And not just remembered. And so... That also crosses my mind.

In my mind, I see me and someone very special to me. I envision myself and my significant other... There. I can imagine it so vividly. I can smell the rain. Feel her hand slip into mine as we walk down Main Street and on the river line. Getting ice cream at the local place. Going to Powells in Portland. All the places I enjoy, just with her. Reveling in her presence, and holding her close to me. And, of course, taking her to meet my family. I don't know why, but that idea just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I think sometimes on that subject. Of taking this person to meet my family. Even if she gets nervous around everyone but me. I think of holding her while we go and do the things that I want to do with her. All those things I know, but want to show her.

I want to show her what... What makes me tick. What makes me... Well, me. All the things that are important to me, I want her to see. Give her a vision. And I want to do the same thing with her. I've seen much of her life. I know a lot of things. But I've never had her take me somewhere and point things out like I want to do.

I don't know. Maybe that's just me. I'm not the only person who feels this, sure. But, it's like.... I wish I could. It would fulfill so much of a hope and dream.

So yeah. There you go fans.
ZW