Is tomorrow. Today is "The Day Just Before Heck." Today, I woke up to a GINORMOUS crack in our fish tank, a raging headache, and a busy day full of things to do. And then the fish tank broke. As I sit here, covered in fish water, smelling like a fish tank, and my entire body aching, I just think of one thing: Tomorrow will be no better. An utterly hopeless prospect. But the only one I currently have.
I spent THREE HOURS today vacuuming two spots on the carpet downstairs. Which, of course, was wetter than the ocean. THREE HOURS!! And you wanna know how much good it did? NONE. Zip. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Cero. Nein. So much for a useful day. Then, I went to campus, and traipsed about, and I was thwarted there too! I couldn't even get my BOOKS! Or my parking permit! The only good thing I managed to do, was get my exercise clothes! (Cause I'll be hitting the gym on my off time. Hello muscles! :) ) Anywho. So, then I came back home to more futile efforts.
On top of this, I start school on Monday. Which will be lovely. And tomorrow, we have yet MORE trees to plant, MORE fish tank stuff, AND preparations for the giant family party for the holidays! Which is why tomorrow is gonna be lovely.
In other news, I have had several emotional upheavals this week. And, unrelated to that... My friend who lives in Boise has contacted me several times, asking for a listening ear. Which, I happen to enjoy. I'm fond of giving people an ear and a shoulder. And, she really needed it. I'm sure that being kicked out and not having any foreseeable place to go is wonderful for the stress level. So, when she contacted me, she was suitably freaked out. And she needed someone to go to for help. And who am I to turn someone away? That's my bread and butter, man. One of the only reasons I have actual friends, is because I seem to be a rather good influence, and can manage to help people calm down, and give them the comfort they need.
This seems to be my purpose in life. Several times this week alone, it has become apparent to me, that I am a force for good in this world. People come to me with their problems, and somehow, they leave without them. Or, at the very least, with a sense that they can overcome them. Makes me wonder... What am I to do with this...? How can I better use this to help the people I care about? I seem to elude myself. I can't see in myself what everyone else sees in me. In reality, all I see in myself is a few small abilities, and the fact that I'm a jerk. A pain in the bottom, most times. I'm stubborn, sometimes rude and arrogant, honest to a fault, (The size of the San Andreas.), and a million other things. That I feel will make it hard for me in life. Not things that I can change, per se. Just things... As they are. Of course, people seem to see me completely differently. To some, I'm a saint. To others, a nice young gentleman. To even others, maybe an overachiever. To a few, a friend. To even fewer, a leader. And to a very VERY small amount of people, a best friend.
My problem, is this. I am an extremely emotional person. Not the crying type. Just that, I have requirements emotionally that must be met. And in this way, I am construed as needy. Which I suppose I am. More on this to come.
I'll cut this one short, folks. The next one's gonna be a doozy....
Stay safe, and steer clear of avalanches.
ZW
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